This is a particularly interesting thing for me to write about because firstly I am not a woman and secondly I have become enlightened in regards to the subject. You're perhaps thinking to yourself that this is a particularly weird thing for me to write about. I mean it might be, but it sparked from a conversation I overheard from some students who spoke about body hair on females. One of the boys simply stated that men should have hair and women shouldn't. To a lot of people this may be seen as an unacceptable thing to believe let alone say but in reality we can't really blame a 16 year old for believing this... can we? I mean when I was that age I'm pretty sure I believed the same thing. We are constantly shown what a "normal" female body looks like and what a "normal" male body looks like. Ultimately a female body will have shaved legs, shaved face and shaved armpits. And at such a young age we don't really question it, that's just the way it is. When in fact what this does is create an ideology of perfect body image and when we are presented with something that doesn't conform to this we reject it. And as I said I did believe females should have shaved bodies until I had an experience in 2013 when all of a sudden I was surrounded by females who not only had armpit hair but celebrated it. It was a totally new concept to me and because I was already in an environment where I had to be open minded and accommodating I just simply accepted it and haven't looked back since (if you know you know). One of my favourite people on this planet has armpit hair (love you Efro) and it has just made me question why it is that women are supposed to have shaved bodies. Let's also put things into perspective here. Growing hair is a completely natural thing so where did this idea of women having body hair being disgusted come from? More than 99% of women in America shave their body hair allegedly. Whether this is down to personal preference or believing that women just simply shouldn't have body hair is impossible to discern. But having said this can it be argued that this ideology of the hairless woman has informed a females preference on whether she would like body hair? If we weren't brought up on the notion that women should be shaved would more women have body hair? We can't really say but I believe more females would. There would be a vast majority of females who simply couldn't be bothered to do it and would not have to care what others think and there will be a section of females who actually like and embrace their body hair. Coming back to the conversation I overheard it was particularly significant that it was the male who believed that women should not have body hair. Because of this in an effort to look desirable to the opposite sex females will shave. It will be argued that the majority of males would prefer a hairless female but does this preference only stem from the societal viewpoint that hair on females is unattractive. I mean some women love hairy men, are there some men who like hairy women? Having said this though if a female does choose to have body hair should they condemn another female or male who finds it unattractive? This is the society we're living in and this is what people believe it would be wrong to berate them for this. However it would also be unfair for those same people to demand that a female shaves her body. Who the hell cares? Why is it a problem? If you want hair have hair, your body is giving you hair don't feel ashamed. It is also important to foster this mindset in young females who will go through a period where they will start to grow hair in places they haven't before. It would be a shame if they immediately thought that it was disgusting and ultimately became ashamed of their bodies. It's vital for them to know that it is completely natural and it is totally up to them whether they want to shave it or not but let's not be naive to the external realities. They must also be aware that in some environments and to some people it is unacceptable for a woman to have body hair. I recently saw an interview with two women, one who had grown out her armpit hair and another was totally against the idea. Both are human beings and both opinions should really be tolerated because really... who the hell is right? I don't bloody know and in fact it doesn't even matter. All that matters is feeling comfortable with your body whether it has hair or not. There was a question of professionalism brought into a debate and whether it would be acceptable to attend a job interview with armpit hair. I mean of course you can easily hide it but its a matter of what is seen as acceptable for men and females in the work place. If a job required a female to wear a uniform which showed her armpits or legs is it acceptable for management to tell them to shave? Of course this will have no affect on the person's ability to do the job but in terms of impressions on customers I think it is perhaps acceptable. As I said before there is a social stigma on female body hair and company branding is a real thing. Anyway I digress... Our bodies are perhaps the thing that is most personal to us. Although we'd all like a world where the way we look isn't governed by societal norms, unfortunately it is but it also gives us the opportunity to challenge them. Not to mention that not having to worry about shaving every few days is particularly liberating. In conclusion, I'm neither pro-hair nor anti hair. I am just a believer that hair is just natural and whether you want it or not is completely up to you. The societal connotations do exist and its important to be aware of those but ultimately why the hell do any of us give a damn?
So there are now 71 gender options to choose from on Facebook including "2 spirit person" This is something that has come to my attention fairly recently. It all started when I found myself agreeing with something Piers Morgan was saying. I know what you're thinking "Piers Morgan, are you sure?" unfortunately yes, yes I am. To be fair to the guy even though he's a bit of stuck up knob he does actually speak a lot of sense (some of the time). And one of the few times he did was on the subject of gender neutrality. It all kicked off from the MTV movie awards when Emma Watson became the first winner of the gender neutral "Best Actor" award. Piers argued that it was unnecessary and ultimately meant that women would win less because in fact the majority of major roles go to males. I'm sorry but even before Piers said this, it was my fault exactly. I don't think creating one category was ultimately necessary. From my understanding there weren't many people calling for it and I honestly don't see any benefit from having one category for males and females. Of course I understand the logic behind it, "males and females should be on the same playing field" and "equality" and all that mullarkey. Even though this is a notion I support it isn't applicable to every situation. There is no getting away from the fact that males and females are different, yes we are all humans and segregation often has its negative connotations but sometimes I believe it's necessary. Having two categories not only makes it so more actors and actresses can be nominated but it also means there are 2 winners. No one is saying that males are better than females or vice versa but in the history of ceremonies this is how it's always been and winning an award for best actor or best actress are on the same level anyway. So there's your equality. I mean how far do you want to take this? Another point Piers correctly mentioned is that if we were to do this for sports, females would almost always lose because it is a fact that men are both faster and stronger than females. But a reason for why this particular news has become more significant is because of people who are "non-binary" and don't see themselves belonging to either gender. Now I like to see myself as an understanding and inclusive person but I do fail to quite get my head around this concept. It's becoming a bit ridiculous, I mean 71 gender options on Facebook, come on now. Where does it end? Are we able to identify ourselves as anything? I in no way want to diminish people who feel this way, because as I said I don't quite understand it, but having 2 genders is all most of us as humans know and to not feel like you belong to either one is just worrying. A big argument for non-binary people is that they feel they don't fit into the gender roles of neither male or female and yes it's easy to say that sex and gender are two different things but you can't have gender without sex. We are living in a much more tolerable world and just because you are a male or female doesn't mean you can't be a feminine male or a masculine female. When I say someone is a male or someone is a female I am not associating all these gender roles with you I am just going on the assumption that you either have a penis or vagina. So now there's a call to use language that is much more inclusive. In some respects I get it. Such as instead of fireman, you say firefighter. And that is fair enough but it's a whole different story when you have to refer to people as "they". I recently watched a debate about this subject and an argument being made by the non-binary person was that it's just about showing respect for that person by referring to them in the way they want to. Again, I totally get it and there are some languages, such as german, that do make allowances for gender. But she became particularly offended when someone else said that she would refuse to refer to her in that way. Now I totally understand both sides of the argument. The woman against it says it's an ideology that she doesn't subscribe to. And in many ways if males are people with penises and females are people with vaginas then she's not wrong it is an ideology. While watching it I felt the woman who would refuse to refer to her as "they" was actually kind of within her rights. Think of it in terms of religion. Just because I believe in God I can't expect an atheist to start believing in the same things as me and all of a sudden start going to church. Everyone nowadays wants to be politically correct and feel as though everyone should be who they want to be and live as they choose when in fact if that was the case there'd be complete anarchy. Sometimes we do need strict definitions and boundaries. If you go to jail do you go to a male or female prison? Do you use male or female bathrooms? A point which supports this theory that non-binary is an ideology is again a point mentioned by Piers Morgan. He told of a school where one girl said she was non-binary and by the end of the week 8 girls in the same year all said they were the same. He then went on to label it as a fad which of course probably offended some people but I think that in this case it is probably safe to assume that it was. Is it really a good idea to bring up our children teaching them that there are 71 different gender options and that they are able to choose? Do we teach them that they have to be careful how they address people? Can we really be walking on eggshells scared of offending people by referring to them as the wrong pro noun? "They" is often used as plural and this is simply the way our brains are wired, and yes language does change and progress, but for us now to change the way we speak is going to be no easy feat. One thing that I didn't understand was the inclusion of transgendered people in the argument for gender-neutral language. It was always my understanding that transgendered people transitioned from one gender to another they don't feel as though they belong to neither they subscribe to either or. I mean some transgendered may be non-binary but I feel as though that's a bit contradictory. Also do any of us fully subscribe to our gender roles. Are gender roles even as significant as they were back in the day? Do girls still like pink and boys, blue? All I was hearing from the non-binary people I have listened to was that they still believe these stereotypes exist and don't want to be associated with either one. Yes they do exist but let's not try and make it out like it's more than it actually is. Besides only because you don't conform to either gender, people are still going to see you as male or female. If you feel as though you're neither then that's fine but just accept that it is a narrative that not everyone can support. An argument made in support of non-binary people was that "why should it affect us how someone else identifies?" Which is kind of an outrageous statement when these same people are calling for us to change our language. But as I said, if you want to identify as a male, female, non-binary, 2 spirit person, polygender, that is fine but the reality is that the majority of us will still see you as either male or female. Also all this talk about gender being a social construct is a bogus. Males peeing at least 2 urinals from another male is a social construct, gender is based on sex which is just scientific facts. Also let's not blow this out of proportion it is only a small minority of people who identify as something other than male or female. I haven't in my 22 years of life met someone who was gender fluid. So is there really need for a change when this is the case? Plus I feel as though there are much more pressing issues to be concerned rather than worrying about whether you identify as genderqueer or pangender. Just be you, as long as you love yourself and those around you, you can be an iguana for all I care. But as always what do I know? This is wholly my opinion and something that I've thought about a lot recently. I would love to know what you guys think so let me know, I've enjoyed hearing both sides of the debate.
The guy even got my name wrong.
I had no plan, I just took a camera out with me.
When I was looking for an image to illustrate this blog post, I typed in "body image" into Google. All the images were in relation to female body image. This is no surprise to me as I do feel there is more pressure on females to look a certain way it is scary that there was very little that alluded to males. Before I get into it I just want to make it clear that this post is directed at things we are able to change about our body through natural means. It is no secret that the human body comes in numerous shapes and sizes and with our innate desire to be accepted by others it is no surprise that the majority of us have "body goals". As we scroll through our Instagram feed we are constantly bombarded with images of more than perfect people who embody the perfect physique and the body that we desire, or at least the body that we're told we should desire. Because of this our subconscious tells us that the way we are isn't acceptable and there are very few body types that are actually deemed acceptable. In turn, to promote positive body image we are constantly being told to love our bodies no matter the shape or size which is a nice sentiment, however does this lead to the alienation of people who do not love their bodies. I am a firm believer that having a positive self body image is vital to a person's general happiness. Being able to look in the mirror and like the person staring back at you is kind of a luxury but it would be naive of us to think that this is common. We all have our insecurities and imperfections which may be detrimental to the way we perceive ourselves and with the emergence of selfie culture publicly posting photos of ourselves has become the norm. However it's important to remember that with selfies come filters and other forms of image alteration which only reinforces the idea that none of us are truly happy with our image. Finding the right filter and playing with image settings has become a science because of our need to be accepted by our peers. God forbid we actually post a selfie where the caption "I woke up like this" rings true. So you don't like your body, now what? Sure you can learn to love it, or you can just change it. Now i'm not advocating plastic surgery or botox or any kind of unnatural body modification but if you do want to do that then thats your choice. But saying to yourself "I think I'm a bit overweight" or "I'm too thin" or "I want to be more toned" even though on the surface this is seen as having a negative self image what this really is, is a starting point for you to turn something negative into a positive. Losing weight or putting on weight naturally is a great thing for any of us to achieve. It is no easy feat and some of us will be better at it than others. But having goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction within itself. We advocate a mindset that if we are not happy with something then we should change it, so why not do the same with our bodies. We shouldn't have to "learn to love" something. What does this even mean? Learning to love and just simply loving are two completely different things. Learning is forced, loving is not so it's kind of an oxymoron. Having said this though, one day you might wake up and all of a sudden have a more positive perception of yourself. For me personally, this is something that I've never spoken to anyone about, but I have a really poor self image. I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror which makes washing my hands at public bathrooms quite a harrowing experience for me. Whenever there is a mirror present my only thought is making sure I don't make eye contact with it. And for those of you that follow me on social media you will notice a lack of selfies and just generally photos I have taken of myself. However you will find a few if you scroll further back. I envy people that are able to post selfies of themselves and their friends in any environment, any lighting, any situation. On numerous occasions I have refused to take selfies or photos for snapchat when out with friends and this is one of the reasons why. It was also a factor for why I started vlogging, as a means of not learning to "love" my face but more of a sense of desensitising myself towards it. This seems like a crazy concept but there it is, perhaps my biggest demon. It's not all doom and gloom however there are days when I am okay with how I look even though those days are particularly rare. This is mainly in regards to my face, I have had a lot of problems with my body, often seeing myself as too skinny. On numerous occasions I've been told that I am losing weight or that I am simply just "skin and bone" and even though people take little note of these comments they do hurt me slightly especially when it is something I am trying so hard to change. Putting on weight has proven to be a very difficult task for me as lately I have found myself not being able to stomach that much food. Even after a Tesco meal deal I have almost reached my limit and I haven't been to a buffet in ages. Rah, didn't expect that to get so personal but I feel like it is an important subject and something we should all be aware of. If someone says to us that they are not happy with their body, if it is something that they are able to control i.e weight, then instead of saying "learn to love yourself" why not encourage them to change it. In a world now where we are able to change our sex and we are commending people for doing so why is it a different story for our bodies. Do we tell people to learn to love their sex. I am aware that there are numerous factors that make it harder for some of us to change our bodies than others but do you know what I don't have time for? People who complain that they are "too fat" then don't do anything about it. If you're not willing to attempt to take the necessary actions to lose weight then do you even really hate being "fat" that much? So yes all body types are acceptable, there is someone out there that will love you for you but not loving your body is also fine. If you want to change it, then do that, don't believe that you have to love the way you are because in reality, is that true for any of us? P.S You are all already "beach-body ready".
Is it even that deep?
More than meets the eye... (that was the only eye related phrase I could think of)
I am a writer and producer from East London and also have an interest in photography. I have produced a selection of video projects ranging from short films to web series. This blog is just a space for me to share my creative work and spill my deepest darkest secrets.
