This is a particularly interesting thing for me to write about because firstly I am not a woman and secondly I have become enlightened in regards to the subject.
You're perhaps thinking to yourself that this is a particularly weird thing for me to write about. I mean it might be, but it sparked from a conversation I overheard from some students who spoke about body hair on females. One of the boys simply stated that men should have hair and women shouldn't. To a lot of people this may be seen as an unacceptable thing to believe let alone say but in reality we can't really blame a 16 year old for believing this... can we? I mean when I was that age I'm pretty sure I believed the same thing. We are constantly shown what a "normal" female body looks like and what a "normal" male body looks like. Ultimately a female body will have shaved legs, shaved face and shaved armpits. And at such a young age we don't really question it, that's just the way it is. When in fact what this does is create an ideology of perfect body image and when we are presented with something that doesn't conform to this we reject it.
And as I said I did believe females should have shaved bodies until I had an experience in 2013 when all of a sudden I was surrounded by females who not only had armpit hair but celebrated it. It was a totally new concept to me and because I was already in an environment where I had to be open minded and accommodating I just simply accepted it and haven't looked back since (if you know you know). One of my favourite people on this planet has armpit hair (love you Efro) and it has just made me question why it is that women are supposed to have shaved bodies.
Let's also put things into perspective here. Growing hair is a completely natural thing so where did this idea of women having body hair being disgusted come from? More than 99% of women in America shave their body hair allegedly. Whether this is down to personal preference or believing that women just simply shouldn't have body hair is impossible to discern. But having said this can it be argued that this ideology of the hairless woman has informed a females preference on whether she would like body hair? If we weren't brought up on the notion that women should be shaved would more women have body hair? We can't really say but I believe more females would. There would be a vast majority of females who simply couldn't be bothered to do it and would not have to care what others think and there will be a section of females who actually like and embrace their body hair.
Coming back to the conversation I overheard it was particularly significant that it was the male who believed that women should not have body hair. Because of this in an effort to look desirable to the opposite sex females will shave. It will be argued that the majority of males would prefer a hairless female but does this preference only stem from the societal viewpoint that hair on females is unattractive. I mean some women love hairy men, are there some men who like hairy women? Having said this though if a female does choose to have body hair should they condemn another female or male who finds it unattractive? This is the society we're living in and this is what people believe it would be wrong to berate them for this. However it would also be unfair for those same people to demand that a female shaves her body. Who the hell cares? Why is it a problem? If you want hair have hair, your body is giving you hair don't feel ashamed.
It is also important to foster this mindset in young females who will go through a period where they will start to grow hair in places they haven't before. It would be a shame if they immediately thought that it was disgusting and ultimately became ashamed of their bodies. It's vital for them to know that it is completely natural and it is totally up to them whether they want to shave it or not but let's not be naive to the external realities. They must also be aware that in some environments and to some people it is unacceptable for a woman to have body hair.
I recently saw an interview with two women, one who had grown out her armpit hair and another was totally against the idea. Both are human beings and both opinions should really be tolerated because really... who the hell is right? I don't bloody know and in fact it doesn't even matter. All that matters is feeling comfortable with your body whether it has hair or not. There was a question of professionalism brought into a debate and whether it would be acceptable to attend a job interview with armpit hair. I mean of course you can easily hide it but its a matter of what is seen as acceptable for men and females in the work place. If a job required a female to wear a uniform which showed her armpits or legs is it acceptable for management to tell them to shave? Of course this will have no affect on the person's ability to do the job but in terms of impressions on customers I think it is perhaps acceptable. As I said before there is a social stigma on female body hair and company branding is a real thing. Anyway I digress...
Our bodies are perhaps the thing that is most personal to us. Although we'd all like a world where the way we look isn't governed by societal norms, unfortunately it is but it also gives us the opportunity to challenge them. Not to mention that not having to worry about shaving every few days is particularly liberating.
In conclusion, I'm neither pro-hair nor anti hair. I am just a believer that hair is just natural and whether you want it or not is completely up to you. The societal connotations do exist and its important to be aware of those but ultimately why the hell do any of us give a damn?
So there are now 71 gender options to choose from on Facebook including "2 spirit person"
This is something that has come to my attention fairly recently. It all started when I found myself agreeing with something Piers Morgan was saying. I know what you're thinking "Piers Morgan, are you sure?" unfortunately yes, yes I am. To be fair to the guy even though he's a bit of stuck up knob he does actually speak a lot of sense (some of the time). And one of the few times he did was on the subject of gender neutrality.
It all kicked off from the MTV movie awards when Emma Watson became the first winner of the gender neutral "Best Actor" award. Piers argued that it was unnecessary and ultimately meant that women would win less because in fact the majority of major roles go to males. I'm sorry but even before Piers said this, it was my fault exactly. I don't think creating one category was ultimately necessary. From my understanding there weren't many people calling for it and I honestly don't see any benefit from having one category for males and females. Of course I understand the logic behind it, "males and females should be on the same playing field" and "equality" and all that mullarkey. Even though this is a notion I support it isn't applicable to every situation. There is no getting away from the fact that males and females are different, yes we are all humans and segregation often has its negative connotations but sometimes I believe it's necessary. Having two categories not only makes it so more actors and actresses can be nominated but it also means there are 2 winners. No one is saying that males are better than females or vice versa but in the history of ceremonies this is how it's always been and winning an award for best actor or best actress are on the same level anyway. So there's your equality. I mean how far do you want to take this? Another point Piers correctly mentioned is that if we were to do this for sports, females would almost always lose because it is a fact that men are both faster and stronger than females.
But a reason for why this particular news has become more significant is because of people who are "non-binary" and don't see themselves belonging to either gender. Now I like to see myself as an understanding and inclusive person but I do fail to quite get my head around this concept. It's becoming a bit ridiculous, I mean 71 gender options on Facebook, come on now. Where does it end? Are we able to identify ourselves as anything? I in no way want to diminish people who feel this way, because as I said I don't quite understand it, but having 2 genders is all most of us as humans know and to not feel like you belong to either one is just worrying. A big argument for non-binary people is that they feel they don't fit into the gender roles of neither male or female and yes it's easy to say that sex and gender are two different things but you can't have gender without sex. We are living in a much more tolerable world and just because you are a male or female doesn't mean you can't be a feminine male or a masculine female. When I say someone is a male or someone is a female I am not associating all these gender roles with you I am just going on the assumption that you either have a penis or vagina.
So now there's a call to use language that is much more inclusive. In some respects I get it. Such as instead of fireman, you say firefighter. And that is fair enough but it's a whole different story when you have to refer to people as "they". I recently watched a debate about this subject and an argument being made by the non-binary person was that it's just about showing respect for that person by referring to them in the way they want to. Again, I totally get it and there are some languages, such as german, that do make allowances for gender. But she became particularly offended when someone else said that she would refuse to refer to her in that way. Now I totally understand both sides of the argument. The woman against it says it's an ideology that she doesn't subscribe to. And in many ways if males are people with penises and females are people with vaginas then she's not wrong it is an ideology. While watching it I felt the woman who would refuse to refer to her as "they" was actually kind of within her rights. Think of it in terms of religion. Just because I believe in God I can't expect an atheist to start believing in the same things as me and all of a sudden start going to church. Everyone nowadays wants to be politically correct and feel as though everyone should be who they want to be and live as they choose when in fact if that was the case there'd be complete anarchy. Sometimes we do need strict definitions and boundaries. If you go to jail do you go to a male or female prison? Do you use male or female bathrooms?
A point which supports this theory that non-binary is an ideology is again a point mentioned by Piers Morgan. He told of a school where one girl said she was non-binary and by the end of the week 8 girls in the same year all said they were the same. He then went on to label it as a fad which of course probably offended some people but I think that in this case it is probably safe to assume that it was. Is it really a good idea to bring up our children teaching them that there are 71 different gender options and that they are able to choose? Do we teach them that they have to be careful how they address people? Can we really be walking on eggshells scared of offending people by referring to them as the wrong pro noun? "They" is often used as plural and this is simply the way our brains are wired, and yes language does change and progress, but for us now to change the way we speak is going to be no easy feat.
One thing that I didn't understand was the inclusion of transgendered people in the argument for gender-neutral language. It was always my understanding that transgendered people transitioned from one gender to another they don't feel as though they belong to neither they subscribe to either or. I mean some transgendered may be non-binary but I feel as though that's a bit contradictory. Also do any of us fully subscribe to our gender roles. Are gender roles even as significant as they were back in the day? Do girls still like pink and boys, blue? All I was hearing from the non-binary people I have listened to was that they still believe these stereotypes exist and don't want to be associated with either one. Yes they do exist but let's not try and make it out like it's more than it actually is. Besides only because you don't conform to either gender, people are still going to see you as male or female. If you feel as though you're neither then that's fine but just accept that it is a narrative that not everyone can support. An argument made in support of non-binary people was that "why should it affect us how someone else identifies?" Which is kind of an outrageous statement when these same people are calling for us to change our language. But as I said, if you want to identify as a male, female, non-binary, 2 spirit person, polygender, that is fine but the reality is that the majority of us will still see you as either male or female.
Also all this talk about gender being a social construct is a bogus. Males peeing at least 2 urinals from another male is a social construct, gender is based on sex which is just scientific facts. Also let's not blow this out of proportion it is only a small minority of people who identify as something other than male or female. I haven't in my 22 years of life met someone who was gender fluid. So is there really need for a change when this is the case? Plus I feel as though there are much more pressing issues to be concerned rather than worrying about whether you identify as genderqueer or pangender. Just be you, as long as you love yourself and those around you, you can be an iguana for all I care.
But as always what do I know? This is wholly my opinion and something that I've thought about a lot recently. I would love to know what you guys think so let me know, I've enjoyed hearing both sides of the debate.
When I was looking for an image to illustrate this blog post, I typed in "body image" into Google. All the images were in relation to female body image. This is no surprise to me as I do feel there is more pressure on females to look a certain way it is scary that there was very little that alluded to males.
Before I get into it I just want to make it clear that this post is directed at things we are able to change about our body through natural means.
It is no secret that the human body comes in numerous shapes and sizes and with our innate desire to be accepted by others it is no surprise that the majority of us have "body goals". As we scroll through our Instagram feed we are constantly bombarded with images of more than perfect people who embody the perfect physique and the body that we desire, or at least the body that we're told we should desire. Because of this our subconscious tells us that the way we are isn't acceptable and there are very few body types that are actually deemed acceptable. In turn, to promote positive body image we are constantly being told to love our bodies no matter the shape or size which is a nice sentiment, however does this lead to the alienation of people who do not love their bodies.
I am a firm believer that having a positive self body image is vital to a person's general happiness. Being able to look in the mirror and like the person staring back at you is kind of a luxury but it would be naive of us to think that this is common. We all have our insecurities and imperfections which may be detrimental to the way we perceive ourselves and with the emergence of selfie culture publicly posting photos of ourselves has become the norm. However it's important to remember that with selfies come filters and other forms of image alteration which only reinforces the idea that none of us are truly happy with our image. Finding the right filter and playing with image settings has become a science because of our need to be accepted by our peers. God forbid we actually post a selfie where the caption "I woke up like this" rings true.
So you don't like your body, now what? Sure you can learn to love it, or you can just change it. Now i'm not advocating plastic surgery or botox or any kind of unnatural body modification but if you do want to do that then thats your choice. But saying to yourself "I think I'm a bit overweight" or "I'm too thin" or "I want to be more toned" even though on the surface this is seen as having a negative self image what this really is, is a starting point for you to turn something negative into a positive. Losing weight or putting on weight naturally is a great thing for any of us to achieve. It is no easy feat and some of us will be better at it than others. But having goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction within itself. We advocate a mindset that if we are not happy with something then we should change it, so why not do the same with our bodies. We shouldn't have to "learn to love" something. What does this even mean? Learning to love and just simply loving are two completely different things. Learning is forced, loving is not so it's kind of an oxymoron. Having said this though, one day you might wake up and all of a sudden have a more positive perception of yourself.
For me personally, this is something that I've never spoken to anyone about, but I have a really poor self image. I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror which makes washing my hands at public bathrooms quite a harrowing experience for me. Whenever there is a mirror present my only thought is making sure I don't make eye contact with it. And for those of you that follow me on social media you will notice a lack of selfies and just generally photos I have taken of myself. However you will find a few if you scroll further back. I envy people that are able to post selfies of themselves and their friends in any environment, any lighting, any situation. On numerous occasions I have refused to take selfies or photos for snapchat when out with friends and this is one of the reasons why. It was also a factor for why I started vlogging, as a means of not learning to "love" my face but more of a sense of desensitising myself towards it. This seems like a crazy concept but there it is, perhaps my biggest demon. It's not all doom and gloom however there are days when I am okay with how I look even though those days are particularly rare. This is mainly in regards to my face, I have had a lot of problems with my body, often seeing myself as too skinny. On numerous occasions I've been told that I am losing weight or that I am simply just "skin and bone" and even though people take little note of these comments they do hurt me slightly especially when it is something I am trying so hard to change. Putting on weight has proven to be a very difficult task for me as lately I have found myself not being able to stomach that much food. Even after a Tesco meal deal I have almost reached my limit and I haven't been to a buffet in ages.
Rah, didn't expect that to get so personal but I feel like it is an important subject and something we should all be aware of. If someone says to us that they are not happy with their body, if it is something that they are able to control i.e weight, then instead of saying "learn to love yourself" why not encourage them to change it. In a world now where we are able to change our sex and we are commending people for doing so why is it a different story for our bodies. Do we tell people to learn to love their sex. I am aware that there are numerous factors that make it harder for some of us to change our bodies than others but do you know what I don't have time for? People who complain that they are "too fat" then don't do anything about it. If you're not willing to attempt to take the necessary actions to lose weight then do you even really hate being "fat" that much? So yes all body types are acceptable, there is someone out there that will love you for you but not loving your body is also fine. If you want to change it, then do that, don't believe that you have to love the way you are because in reality, is that true for any of us?
P.S You are all already "beach-body ready".
Is being loyal not wanting to get with anyone else or resisting to get with anyone else?
I don't actually know where I stand on this but hopefully that becomes more apparent as I write this post. It's a tough cookie to crack because can you only be attracted to one person for the rest of your life. I don't think so, no matter how much you love your other half you're not going to stop finding other girls attractive. Now whether this means you want to get with these people is another story.
In order for us to answer the question we must first define what "not wanting to" means. Does it mean not wanting to because you're in a relationship or not wanting to simply because you don't want to. A lot of people believe that because you're in a relationship you shouldn't want to get with anyone else. And this is fair enough... when you look at it from surface level. But if you dig a little deeper, firstly no matter how deep your love or how good the sex can you really expect your other half to not have a wondering eye from the billions of other people on the planet? And on top of this you won't even know if they've even thought about getting with anyone else, so as long as they're satisfying your needs everyone's happy right? You're not a bad person for maybe wanting to get with other people when your in a relationship because it's honestly impossible to have that physical attraction to just one person. As for love, that's a completely different story but it's because you love the person you're with that you don't even go there.
But then you can argue "why do people cheat on the partners that they claim to love?" Well simple answer is that they don't love them. But a more complex thought is that they may love their partner but the attraction is just too much and sometimes this does transcend "love" for some people. I mean you're in the moment, your partner isn't there, you're with a really attractive boy/girl it may be hard for you to say no. However if you really do love your other half then you'll realise that 2 minutes of pleasure probably isn't worth it. A big reason for why people want to stay single is because they can't comprehend the idea of committing both physically and emotionally to one person for an extended period of time. Let's not kid ourselves it is a big deal which is why I respect not only people in relationships but people who have been in them for years. Not to say that I'm off throwing myself at a different girl every week but the idea of a relationship is still a scary prospect for me.
Now I touched briefly on the idea of resisting which is pretty much what it is. This is perhaps much more common form of loyalty. And even though the idea of it seems disloyal, is it really. Not wanting to and resisting both ultimately have the same result, does the method really matter? On the flip side if you were to tell your partner that you wanted to get with this person but you "resisted" I can't imagine they'd be too happy. Let's not be naive to the fact that this is how most of us stay loyal. If we could we'd love to get with everyone we found attractive without any consequences but this is not how the world works. Resistance does take strength and loyalty and showing that to one person is a pretty big deal. It's just important to know that your other half isn't messing around with anyone else BECAUSE of you. But then again what do I know?
Relationships are pretty much one big mind game and its your job to play whether you like it or not...
So guys it's story time... and today's story is about tramps, but one tramp in particular!
For you guys that don't know I reside in a little sea-side town called Bournemouth and I mean it's great but the amount of tramps. You know how people say we should respect tramps. Why? What have they ever done for me? And now because of this one experience I respect them even less... not that I respected them that much to begin with.
Very rarely do I take sympathy on the homeless, not because I'm a heartless person but more to do with I rarely carry money and if I do have money I can't be asked to stop and retrieve my brick of a wallet that is stuck in my skinny jeans. Nevertheless sometimes I'm in a good mood and will offer my hard earned cash. But oh boy is that going to stop. I swear I was happy on the wrong day.
So there I was, strutting my stuff down the street, quite proud with the shop I had just done at ASDA and I was looking forward to just getting back to my room and seeing bae (Netflix). I'm like 200 metres away and I can practically hear Francis Underwood calling my name. Then I see this rough guy at the corner of my eye. And you know them ones when you just know someones going to approach you so you do everything in your power to avoid that from happening. But me being the idiot I am thought he'd be a hero and carry all 7 bags of shopping on my ones, so it's safe to say I wasn't going anywhere fast. This was the ensuing conversation. Well how I remember it anyway I may be paraphrasing...
Tramp: Excuse me boss...
Me: Yes
Tramp: How you doing? I need money for the bus but I'm 80p short could you lend it to me?
Me: Yeah alright.
At this point I was fearing for my wallet because I had a bunch of bags on me, he could have taken it and ducked. So I get out my wallet and look through my change when he proceeds to say. Now I remember this bit clearly.
Tramp: If you've got a nugget in there that would be great?
So now I'm thinking, is this guy trying to rob my chicken nuggets aswell. Cos he don't know that nothing comes between me and some good chicken nuggets. But then I realised "Oh that must be slang for a £1"
So me still fearing for my wallets safety gave him the pound without even thinking... cos I'm a moron basically.
So there he is happy as Larry, so grateful for the whole pound I gave him and you know what I felt quite good inside. Don't get it twisted I wasn't going to becomes some modern day Robin Hood but I was starting to think maybe I wasn't as heartless as I thought.
So he left, probably to get some drugs or some ish and I carry on walking back to my digs and start to realise. "Hold on, he just robbed me". How is a tramp gonna upsell me? I acted like the guy had a knife to my throat. That pound could have got me one whole item from poundland. THE GUY DIDN'T EVEN ASK FOR A POUND. How's a tramp going to negotiate his beg money. It's called "beg" money for a reason. You can;t be making demands who do you think you are. So there's me contemplating life after just being robbed but kinda still feeling good because the guy was so grateful.
Lets fast forward a few weeks...
So a few weeks have past and I've pretty much forgotten about this guy think I was never gonna see him again. In my room getting a bit hungry, Tesco is across the road so I thought let me go and get some munch. So I go out looking homeless myself just about to enter the sanctuary that is Tesco when guess who approaches me. THE SAME TRAMP. This time saying "I'm a Londoner I just need 80p for the train." When a few things went through my mind.
If you're a Londoner why are you in Bournemouth?
If you can't afford to get back how the hell did you get here?
and...
WHY THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS WANT 80P SPECIFICALLY?
So obviously now I know this guy is just full of gas. So me, knowing I have plenty of money in my pocket say "no, I have no change". And as polite tramps normally say "Oh okay thanks anyway" or something along those lines... this guy proceeds to argue with me. THIS GUY TRIED TO TELL ME I HAD MONEY. WTF? How can YOU tell me that I have money? Are you okay? If I say I have no money, I have no money. Whether I actually do is besides the point because the results the same. Then he had the audacity to call me a liar... HA! Are you hearing this? A liar aswell. A guy who has apparently been living off 80p rations in Bournemouth for a good couple of months but is from London and needs just 80p to afford a ticket back. I can't believe I even entertained the guy. Saying that I was paying by card and all sorts... what was I thinking?
If you're homeless you're supposed to be humble man, you can't be interrogating people for money... I only came out for a £3 meal deal.
Moral of the story is, if you live in Bournemouth and someone asks you for 80p keep your money in your pocket and go buy yourself a lollipop.
Social networking has become a revelation in recent years with the emergence of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. If someone told you they didn't have a Facebook account you'd think they were crazy. Or that they're smart, very very smart actually. Social networking has arguably made us less sociable and for some just hardcore attention seekers.
Let's start with Facebook shall we? Yes we shall. Do you remember the days when people used to upload a photo and would say "Don't like the link like the photo". Why are these people assuming that someone is going to like their photo. If anything this is going to make people not want to like your photo.
Also Birthdays... wow. Birthday's on Facebook are a momentous occasion when we hear from people we never actually speak to or haven't spoken to you in ages. And it's actually quite a nice feeling when people you don't normally speak to wish you a happy birthday BUT when people put "HB" that is just rude in my opinion. You've done a lot by clicking on this person's profile to write on their wall for their birthday so why are you just posting HB? Would it hard just to go the whole way and say Happy Birthday. Lazy buggers.
Something that also makes me laugh is when people post on people's timelines and are like "Inbox me when you see this". Why don't you just inbox them? Never understood that.
I think people's desperation for likes is what fuels most of the atrocities that plague social networks. But it's human nature right? The need to be liked but c'mon it's getting ridiculous now. "Like if you're awake", "Like if you're doing this" "Like if you're doing that". After people like your status what exactly are you doing about it?
Instagram is also a vessel for likes. People will literally tag their photos with a bunch of tags so more people will like it then delete the tags so it looks like they've got al those likes themselves. Seriously is this us? Is this the human race in the 21st century? Begging for likes? Likes are not going to get you a job or get you out of your overdraft.
The only issue I have to raise with Twitter is when people will follow thousands of people just to get follow backs. Like why?
Now I don't want it to sound like I'm condemning people for doing these things, it's your account you can do whatever you like with it but I just hope people are social networking for the right reasons. Social networking shouldn't be there to feed your hunger for likes or gain popularity. The clues in the name, just to be sociable in the cyber world. If your tweets or Instagram photos happen to gain popularity then that's fine.
But It's not all bad news when it comes to social networking. It has evolved into a marketing platform and a basis for advertising. It has also played an imperative role in raising awareness and money for charities and spreading good news.
Too bad it will never be rid of crazes such as Neknomination, spam accounts and mothers posting endless photos of their snotty nosed children.
