Some people say the future is scary... but the past is just as bad.
So I am pretty sure you are all aware of the Facebook function that allows you to see what cringey shenanigans you were up to years in the past to the exact day. Timehop seemed to be doing well and in typical Facebook fashion that wanted a peace of that pie and adapted the concept.
What is most frightening about seeing the crap you posted years ago is realising how far we have all come... even from posts that were only a couple of years ago. Times change, the world changes, our environment changes and subsequently so do we. For me personally, I posted some very questionable things in my youth which at the time I would've thought nothing of it but looking back I just can't believe the amount of nonsense I use to spout. From all this time checking what I have posted in the past. Nothing from over 5 years ago makes any sense or has any meaning. And it's just crazy because we don't change drastically from day to day but a gradual shift in our perceptions and behaviours have taken us from where were back in 2009 to where we are now. And of course without these experiences and being this person we wouldn't be who we are today.
What's also significant about our past social media activity are the people we used to interact with. There have been numerous occasions where I have seen that I was cracking bants with someone who I have no recollection of even having a relationship with. Now its no secret that Facebook of old used to be people would comment on everyone's status whether they knew them well or not but it's particularly interesting to see my interactions with these people. What makes it notable is the fact that comments and posts can be seen by your entire friends list which may alter the way you interact. (I am rewriting the rest of thi spost because my internet effed up and didn't save it).
Let me see if I can remember what the last paragraph was about. Ermmmm... crap. This is not the time to have an awful memory. Oh yes. I remember. Time seems to work in phases. And these phases are governed by whatever is happening in our life at the time. It could be your time at university or your time at a certain job. And while we are in these phases we aren't really thinking about the future and what we will say when we look back on it. We just simply want to live life. And although we may say to ourselves we're going to make the most of it do we ever really. I mean can we ever live life to the full or try our absolute hardest. No matter how hard we try we can always give that little bit more. It's a reality we can't escape and its particularly sad when you look back on certain times of your life and wishing you did things a little bit differently. And honestly I don't think theres anything particularly wrong with this. This will then inform our future decisions. Now I don't really know what the overarching message of this post is but I guess just don't take time for granted. Everything comes to an end and then it's just a memory.
It's that time of year again...
Deck the halls with boughs of holly falla la la la... la la la la. Christmas is just around the corner... well... it's not really but that doesn't stop major British retailers from releasing their festive adverts. John Lewis, Debenhams, M&S and even Aldi dropped their Christmas adverts this weak and it's like YouTube diss tracks all over again. Repetitive, unoriginal and a tad bit weak. Okay that's me being a bit over dramatic but the whole Christmas advert saga has lost a bit of its charm in recent years.
John Lewis can't seem to get away from the whole children being the focal point. And you might think I'm a bit crazy saying this seeing as it's Christmas but it just leads to a load of rehashed ideas and familiarity. What made people fall in love with the John Lewis adverts was the creativity and sheer ambition of it all. They reportedly spent around £7 million on this year's advert with it being 7 months in the making and when you hear this you're expecting something pretty fantastic but the finished product falls a bit flat. For a retailer that has held the Christmas advert crown for as long as we can remember I am afraid they are very close to losing it... or maybe not.
M&S and Debenhams were no better although M&S did manage to snap up Ewan McGregor for their campaign this winter which I suppose gives it a bit more gravitas and M&S acquired the help of one of the most famous bears this side of the Atlantic, Paddington. But with each advert only lasting 1 - 2 minutes (probably because of the budget) they never seem to really get going which subsequently leaves you feeling emotionless. Well that was my experience anyway. I have been told I lack emotions so this may be an isolated incident but it also seems that Twitter has very mixed reviews to the adverts in question. Don't even get me started on Aldi, the highlight of their ad was a carrot getting hit by a pea then exclaiming "I think I pea'd myself"... exactly.
The focus of these adverts is always to create something emotional and heart warming for families to see around the festive season but it seems as though everyone is trying to catch up with John Lewis that they aren't actually focused on creating a seemingly "good" advert anymore. Christmas ad campaigns have become more of a gimmick and it seems as though retailers are scared to be at least a little bit emotional. Yeah we all love romances and... children but give us something new. I must say Debenhams did make good use of incorporating the use of social media in today's society which is a smart move seeing as this is the platform these videos will be shared. But yeah... I must say I am a bit unimpressed.
I am sitting in anticipation for Sainsburys to drop their ad as I believe they hands down won last year with their stop-motion epic. It was visually impressive, funny and memorable thanks to a catchy original song sung by James Corden. Although the overarching message is slyly saying that you are the best gift you can give anyone which is slightly narcissistic and cheap. But when you have a puppet twerking and hilarious references to London shutting down over a tiny bit of snow you can forgive it.
However nothing will quite live up to the Bear and the Hare which I believe is probably the best Christmas advert we have been treated to in recent years. That is John Lewis on top form and they are yet to reach the same heights.
If anyone reading this works for John Lewis' marketing department I made this offer last year and it still stands... I will happily write the advert for next year.
To be totally honest with you, the title of this post came before the content which is slightly unusual but putting people and "things" in such high regard has always interested me. What makes something so perfect and beautiful and how do we pursue it?
It's a fact of life that as humans we're always trying to better ourselves. If we do something once, the next time we do it we slightly alter it in order to make it more successful next time but always knowing it will never be perfect. Yet we still strive to achieve... what exactly? I guess just to do it the best we possibly can but even after that "we can always do better" and this process is kind of scary when you think about it.
The majority of us are never going to achieve our wildest dreams. But I've learnt it's not really about achieving those dreams or reaching unrealistic heights. It's all about that journey. There's only one Cristiano Ronaldo in the world but that's not to say lesser players can't be proud of what they've achieved. I'm sure they still went through struggle and pure determination to get where they are. And when we become focused on that end goal rather than the steps needed to get there we can find ourselves in a spot bother.
This is why we cheat and look for shortcuts. Although there are numerous instances where this may be possible the majority of the time we have to go the long way round. Life is hard, making something of yourself is intrinsic and can never be solely down to external forces. Unless you go out of your way to try and get the things you want they most likely won't come. Now not to preach to you, I'm sure you've been told a similar message all your life but it never quite hits until you're in a position where you have a goal that you desperately want.
And what makes these goals so desirable. What makes that the best job for you? What makes Madelaine Petsch the most beautiful girl in the world. It's all in your brain. It's just an ideal that doesn't really exist. Sure we can have tangible goals and desires but the thought of it always means so much more than actually having it. You may find yourself in an unexpected position that is actually so much better than what you thought you wanted. However it is important to hold those ideals as they are what drive us but they're not the be all and end all. I am not not going to look at any other girl because Madelaine is the beautiful-est. Although I might... but keep an open mind. Journeys are unexpected and sometimes they might take a slight detour or take you to a completely new destination.
We're all pretty much in the same boat and if you're in a position to help someone get where they need to be then go ahead and do that. Life is no competition. We're all on our own separate journeys and we should all just want the best for one another.
We hear it all the time... "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings" whether your parents telling you you're adopted or that the new iPhone doesn't have a screen. This is our main rationale for why we don't tell people the truth. But there is a huge debate whether this type of lying is actually necessary in certain circumstances.
Now none of us enjoy being lied to but also it's important to remember that most of the time we don't know we're being lied to which is a crazy concept in itself. The quote "you can't handle the truth" makes more and more sense to me these days. If we had a radar that detected lies it honestly wouldn't stop going off.
But it does take two to lie, someone to tell the lie then someone to believe it. And I think it's human nature for us to believe people in whatever they say and also to lie ourselves. And most of the time there's no reason for why we should believe a complete stranger or why we tell the self service machine we have 1 plastic bag when in actual fact we have 7. From my perspective I do believe that lying is one of the many necessities of life. Imagine how dreadful your childhood would've been if someone told you tamagotchis weren't cool or girls don't have cooties.
Now I'm by no means saying that we should all go round and lie like dogs (what a world that would be) but if someone does lie there's usually an underlying reason and if it proves to be a selfless one does this then outweigh the lie itself. I honestly believe in a number of circumstances it does but if studying television has taught me anything its that lies always come out. So are you willing to jeopardise this person's trust in you to keep whatever it is a secret? If you're going to lie, make sure it's for the right reasons yeah?
Funny story I actually stared this post months ago but didn't finish it for no reason or another. Because of this I can't actually remember why I wrote it. In case you didn't know, every post I write has some sort of connection to my personal life. So this can only mean I lied to someone... sorry.
I put this on my snapchat last night and this is what I learned...
The friend business can be a complicated one... because that's what it is a business. You invest in something and it either turns out to be a success or a bit of a flop. Now not to dehumanise anyone but when it comes down to it if we feel as though the rewards don't match the investment then its time to cut your losses and get out. Now I know there's much more to friendships than this. We're dealing with real people with emotions and feelings and life can throw a lot of complications at you.
But something I often think about is how someone becomes your friend. What needs to happen for you to consider someone a friend. And the criteria is different for everyone. On one hand you have people who consider people they've spoken to and don't hate as a friend and on the other people who feel like you need to donate your liver to be an amigo. Now believe it or not I lie somewhere in between this but I'll come to that later. Back to the snapchat. What I was really getting at was how many people in your life time, so from the day you were born until now, have you considered your best friend. Because best friends change, I know that better than anyone. There are times when you think this is it, me and this person are going to be friends for life and then you find yourself complete strangers a year later.
However the answers I got were how many "best friends" people had at this moment in time. So there were a lot of 2s, 3s... a 9 and even a 20 which again shows the difference in interpretation of the term best friend. If I had to answer, I'd probably say 3. And when asked why these people are considered "best friends" the answers were all similar. You know people you trust, people you go to if you have a problem which all makes sense but as I said before these people seem to change especially earlier in your life. I think when you reach your 20s you start to get a better idea of the people that are there to stay. And not to illegitimate anyone's friends but a lot of people you call your "best friend" may not be there for the long run. Which is actually hard to take. There are so many people I have been good friends with who I still wish I was friends with. My main issue with people comes from reciprocity. I'm putting a lot into this friendship so I expect the same but some people just aren't willing. If I start any sort of friendship with anyone, it's never temporary I am always willing to put everything I can into it. If it works it works if it doesn't it doesn't but how you going to know if you at least don't try?
Anyway where am I going with this.. yeah so when you come tho think of it. If there are 3 people on this entire earth than you feel like you can trust and are your best friend that is not a lot of people at all. So what happens when you lose one? Which is why I cherish any friendship I have or have ever had. Now I'm not perfect either I know there may have been times where I haven't done my best at keeping in touch or maintaining a friendship but I am well aware of this. Friends are what keep us sane and keep us going and it's important to not take them for granted. Now back to what makes me consider someone a friend. i think the main thing is just making an effort and having genuinely interesting conversations about literally anything. If you care about my life and I find myself genuinely caring about yours then you're a friend. To get into best friend territory, I don't know it's hard to say. I don't quite know what makes these people my best friends but I know who they are... which I guess is kind of nice in a way. The fact that I just know. I can also measure it by the people who I will tell first when I get a girlfriend. I know shock right, I'm single.
I am always up for meeting new people and making new friends. Mainly because I want people to physically hang out with but also cos I love the art of conversation. If it was socially acceptable to message random people to start a friendship I honestly probably would. Actually now that I've said all this... maybe I'm just lonely.
Before we start, let me just say I've had quite the day which involved me walking the streets with no shoes. Forgive me if this post is a bit unfocused, it was quite the ordeal.
Anyway, back to business. I recently read an article about a young woman who was subject to this ridiculous, sexist and dehumanising joke called "pulling a pig". Basically the nature of such a joke is a bunch of lads will have a competition to see who can "pull" the most unattractive girl. And that's pretty much it. I mean there are a lot of things wrong and unethical about this but when you dig a little deeper you find that it's more than just the obvious.
So the story is a 24 year old girl met a dutch guy while holidaying in Barcelona. They have a nice little holiday romance but continue to speak even when they are back in their respective countries. The need to see each other grows too strong and the young girl flies to Amsterdam to meet her new beau only to find that he doesn't show and the only contact is a snapchat message that reads "sorry you've been pigged, it was all a joke". I honestly don't get how this absolute wasteman could bring himself to press the send button on that message. Of course this is upsetting for the recipient to read but what does it say about the sender. To have no regard for the feelings of the person you're sending it to and to compose the message in the first place is slightly worrying and no doubt numerous other boys would have no problem acting in a similar way.
Oh wait let me just clarify that our lovely dutch friend has denied keeping in contact and denied sending that message even though there is a pretty clear screenshot. Which leads me on to another point. Part of "lad" culture, which this game is certainly a part of, is proving you're an alpha male. Bet you had a good old laugh with your friends while the prank was happening but now you've been caught you don't want to be the big man and take ownership. Do me a favour, you're so small, so insignificant. You wasted all your time pulling this cruel joke and what do you have to show for it? What was the actual point? Why not put all that time and energy into a girl you actually like. The best thing you can do with your life is to make someone else's that little bit easier. There are so many ways you can lift someone up, but you choose to bring them down instead. This shows you have the potential to be a decent human being. She definitely liked you for one reason or another, just be that genuine person for someone who needs and deserves it.
This is why female body image, actually just body image, is a huge issue in the first place. I thin we all feel a little bit insecure in our bodies as it is and we don't need the fear of thinking that we'd be victim to this sick joke. No one needs that. Especially when we are put in the environment when we think we are looking our best. This game, I assume, happens at a bar or club and this is when we all doll ourselves up and want to be looking our damn finest. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If this has happened to you, then I can only apologise that you had to go through all that. Because it's more than just a game. It's a destruction of confidence and days of negative self image. But I guess these are what games can do to you... I've played FIFA.
There's more I want to say on this subject but there's so much going through my mind I'm finding it a bit hard to streamline it all. It does make me think about my own interactions with, not just females, but people in general. My biggest fear is offending people and when I feel like I have I honestly just don't know how to cope. I was a boy and fell victim to what was considered "normal" boy talk. Or I just thought I was being cool. But it's neither of those things, my morals and beliefs don't fall in line with the kind of trash I was spouting and this is something to remember with all of us. Whether you're speaking publicly or privately, keep your talk respectful of the other human beings that inhabit this godforsaken rock.
Everyone says it, but it's true, we are all beautiful. The opinions of a few sad, boring neanderthals is nothing compared to everything that you are.
Watch the interview below about the story:
Celebrities in a car doesn't always lead to karaoke
Conan O'Brien recently aired an interview (well kind of) with movie mega star Tom Cruise. However it is an interview like no other. Conan hilariously takes the ever tired formula of celebs in a car and subverts it into what becomes a non-interview with the Top Gun star.
Late Night talk shows are not as much of a thing in the UK as they are in the US. I mean all we have is Johnathan and Graham and I don't particularly like either of them. So I get my general fix from the Americans on YouTube and Conan O'Brien is undoubtebly my favourite and this skit just proves why.
The segment is very self aware in the popular formats they are satirising, namely Carpool Karaoke and Comedians in Cars. Much to be expected from a former The Simpsons writer. So take that and one of the biggest stars on the planet and you have a hit on your hands. Conan has been eager to get Tom Cruise on his show so it was a ballsy move to get him and literally just drive him round for reportedly 4 hours with the highlight being Conan offering Cruise a bucket to pee in. Conan's comedic timing, Cruises clout and the busy streets of London make this a hilarious joy ride. Not to mention it gives you a very rare sight of Cruise not performing his own stunt.
This just exemplifies why Conan is often regarded as one of the best Late Night talk show hosts in the US. He may not have as many internet hits as Corden, Kimmel or Fallon but when he hits, he hits hard. His numerous remotes, most notably his exploits with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart have been some of the most talked about videos on the internet with good reason. No one can match his comedic prowess and I urge you all to check out his "bits". Clueless Gamer and his adventures around the office are my personal favourites.
And when I say "back to sobriety" I don't mean I've been off on a 3 month bender.
Hi demons, it's me, ya boi. Did you realise I was gone? No? Yes? Oooohhh who knows but yes I am back live on your computer screen or laptop screen, or phone screen... whichever technological medium you decide to use.
Surprise surprise I was gone for the summer again and I don't think I need to delve into how the summer was because I'm pretty sure you all can guess, although I will say that this was perhaps the most emotionally draining summer I've ever had. If you wanna know more then feel free to ask. I think I'm gonna focus more on what it's like to be back and what life has to offer me. I swear September always seems like the beginning of a new era. I guess the school year got us into that mindset. But my Septembers are either spent looking forward, looking back or not knowing what the hell I am doing and I think September 2017 falls into the latter category. What the hell AM I doing? I will tell you.
Not much to be honest with you. That's what happens when you go to work in America against your professional judgement. But if there's one thing I believe in, it's that you should do what you love as much as you can and for as long as you can. If you're doing something you don't enjoy then honestly what is the point? You can't put a price on your own happiness, or someone else's. Never will I find myself in a position dreading to go to work every day or seeing my time spent doing the same monotonous tasks. What kind of life is that?
So yeah I'm here. Back in London, back at home with the fam and things are just a bit meh at the moment. I said when I got back I would take some time just to chill, but chilling day after day and seeing other people getting jobs, getting married and having babies can get real depressing real quick. I'm all for taking it easy but I still want to have some use in the world. And that has led me here, writing this blog post... trying to find my purpose. Because this is it at the moment. The only thing I can find some sort of worth in. Why don't you get a job you say. Believe me I'm trying because that's what society, and my parents, say I should do, Now I'm not an idiot, I understand money is important to have and I will eventually get a job but I'm liking not being told what to do by "the man".
Being away for so long, fending for myself, seeing another country has just opened my eyes to what I should really be doing with myself. Do I even want to be here anymore, do I even want to go down the path I chose for myself when I was 16? I just don't know and I am having some trouble figuring it out. Because life is monotonous and repetitive, we work basically to live and survive. That's the main purpose. Yeah sure a lot of you love your jobs but it doesn't change the fact that the pay cheque you receive every month is of the upmost importance. So I'm at a bit of a crossroads at the moment. I think this post is the perfect manifestation of where my head is at at the moment. One complete mess.
Well be sure that I'm going to keep you guys updated on everything to come what kind of world would it be if I didn't update everyone on what colour underwear I decide to wear tomorrow... probably black though.
This is a particularly interesting thing for me to write about because firstly I am not a woman and secondly I have become enlightened in regards to the subject.
You're perhaps thinking to yourself that this is a particularly weird thing for me to write about. I mean it might be, but it sparked from a conversation I overheard from some students who spoke about body hair on females. One of the boys simply stated that men should have hair and women shouldn't. To a lot of people this may be seen as an unacceptable thing to believe let alone say but in reality we can't really blame a 16 year old for believing this... can we? I mean when I was that age I'm pretty sure I believed the same thing. We are constantly shown what a "normal" female body looks like and what a "normal" male body looks like. Ultimately a female body will have shaved legs, shaved face and shaved armpits. And at such a young age we don't really question it, that's just the way it is. When in fact what this does is create an ideology of perfect body image and when we are presented with something that doesn't conform to this we reject it.
And as I said I did believe females should have shaved bodies until I had an experience in 2013 when all of a sudden I was surrounded by females who not only had armpit hair but celebrated it. It was a totally new concept to me and because I was already in an environment where I had to be open minded and accommodating I just simply accepted it and haven't looked back since (if you know you know). One of my favourite people on this planet has armpit hair (love you Efro) and it has just made me question why it is that women are supposed to have shaved bodies.
Let's also put things into perspective here. Growing hair is a completely natural thing so where did this idea of women having body hair being disgusted come from? More than 99% of women in America shave their body hair allegedly. Whether this is down to personal preference or believing that women just simply shouldn't have body hair is impossible to discern. But having said this can it be argued that this ideology of the hairless woman has informed a females preference on whether she would like body hair? If we weren't brought up on the notion that women should be shaved would more women have body hair? We can't really say but I believe more females would. There would be a vast majority of females who simply couldn't be bothered to do it and would not have to care what others think and there will be a section of females who actually like and embrace their body hair.
Coming back to the conversation I overheard it was particularly significant that it was the male who believed that women should not have body hair. Because of this in an effort to look desirable to the opposite sex females will shave. It will be argued that the majority of males would prefer a hairless female but does this preference only stem from the societal viewpoint that hair on females is unattractive. I mean some women love hairy men, are there some men who like hairy women? Having said this though if a female does choose to have body hair should they condemn another female or male who finds it unattractive? This is the society we're living in and this is what people believe it would be wrong to berate them for this. However it would also be unfair for those same people to demand that a female shaves her body. Who the hell cares? Why is it a problem? If you want hair have hair, your body is giving you hair don't feel ashamed.
It is also important to foster this mindset in young females who will go through a period where they will start to grow hair in places they haven't before. It would be a shame if they immediately thought that it was disgusting and ultimately became ashamed of their bodies. It's vital for them to know that it is completely natural and it is totally up to them whether they want to shave it or not but let's not be naive to the external realities. They must also be aware that in some environments and to some people it is unacceptable for a woman to have body hair.
I recently saw an interview with two women, one who had grown out her armpit hair and another was totally against the idea. Both are human beings and both opinions should really be tolerated because really... who the hell is right? I don't bloody know and in fact it doesn't even matter. All that matters is feeling comfortable with your body whether it has hair or not. There was a question of professionalism brought into a debate and whether it would be acceptable to attend a job interview with armpit hair. I mean of course you can easily hide it but its a matter of what is seen as acceptable for men and females in the work place. If a job required a female to wear a uniform which showed her armpits or legs is it acceptable for management to tell them to shave? Of course this will have no affect on the person's ability to do the job but in terms of impressions on customers I think it is perhaps acceptable. As I said before there is a social stigma on female body hair and company branding is a real thing. Anyway I digress...
Our bodies are perhaps the thing that is most personal to us. Although we'd all like a world where the way we look isn't governed by societal norms, unfortunately it is but it also gives us the opportunity to challenge them. Not to mention that not having to worry about shaving every few days is particularly liberating.
In conclusion, I'm neither pro-hair nor anti hair. I am just a believer that hair is just natural and whether you want it or not is completely up to you. The societal connotations do exist and its important to be aware of those but ultimately why the hell do any of us give a damn?
So there are now 71 gender options to choose from on Facebook including "2 spirit person"
This is something that has come to my attention fairly recently. It all started when I found myself agreeing with something Piers Morgan was saying. I know what you're thinking "Piers Morgan, are you sure?" unfortunately yes, yes I am. To be fair to the guy even though he's a bit of stuck up knob he does actually speak a lot of sense (some of the time). And one of the few times he did was on the subject of gender neutrality.
It all kicked off from the MTV movie awards when Emma Watson became the first winner of the gender neutral "Best Actor" award. Piers argued that it was unnecessary and ultimately meant that women would win less because in fact the majority of major roles go to males. I'm sorry but even before Piers said this, it was my fault exactly. I don't think creating one category was ultimately necessary. From my understanding there weren't many people calling for it and I honestly don't see any benefit from having one category for males and females. Of course I understand the logic behind it, "males and females should be on the same playing field" and "equality" and all that mullarkey. Even though this is a notion I support it isn't applicable to every situation. There is no getting away from the fact that males and females are different, yes we are all humans and segregation often has its negative connotations but sometimes I believe it's necessary. Having two categories not only makes it so more actors and actresses can be nominated but it also means there are 2 winners. No one is saying that males are better than females or vice versa but in the history of ceremonies this is how it's always been and winning an award for best actor or best actress are on the same level anyway. So there's your equality. I mean how far do you want to take this? Another point Piers correctly mentioned is that if we were to do this for sports, females would almost always lose because it is a fact that men are both faster and stronger than females.
But a reason for why this particular news has become more significant is because of people who are "non-binary" and don't see themselves belonging to either gender. Now I like to see myself as an understanding and inclusive person but I do fail to quite get my head around this concept. It's becoming a bit ridiculous, I mean 71 gender options on Facebook, come on now. Where does it end? Are we able to identify ourselves as anything? I in no way want to diminish people who feel this way, because as I said I don't quite understand it, but having 2 genders is all most of us as humans know and to not feel like you belong to either one is just worrying. A big argument for non-binary people is that they feel they don't fit into the gender roles of neither male or female and yes it's easy to say that sex and gender are two different things but you can't have gender without sex. We are living in a much more tolerable world and just because you are a male or female doesn't mean you can't be a feminine male or a masculine female. When I say someone is a male or someone is a female I am not associating all these gender roles with you I am just going on the assumption that you either have a penis or vagina.
So now there's a call to use language that is much more inclusive. In some respects I get it. Such as instead of fireman, you say firefighter. And that is fair enough but it's a whole different story when you have to refer to people as "they". I recently watched a debate about this subject and an argument being made by the non-binary person was that it's just about showing respect for that person by referring to them in the way they want to. Again, I totally get it and there are some languages, such as german, that do make allowances for gender. But she became particularly offended when someone else said that she would refuse to refer to her in that way. Now I totally understand both sides of the argument. The woman against it says it's an ideology that she doesn't subscribe to. And in many ways if males are people with penises and females are people with vaginas then she's not wrong it is an ideology. While watching it I felt the woman who would refuse to refer to her as "they" was actually kind of within her rights. Think of it in terms of religion. Just because I believe in God I can't expect an atheist to start believing in the same things as me and all of a sudden start going to church. Everyone nowadays wants to be politically correct and feel as though everyone should be who they want to be and live as they choose when in fact if that was the case there'd be complete anarchy. Sometimes we do need strict definitions and boundaries. If you go to jail do you go to a male or female prison? Do you use male or female bathrooms?
A point which supports this theory that non-binary is an ideology is again a point mentioned by Piers Morgan. He told of a school where one girl said she was non-binary and by the end of the week 8 girls in the same year all said they were the same. He then went on to label it as a fad which of course probably offended some people but I think that in this case it is probably safe to assume that it was. Is it really a good idea to bring up our children teaching them that there are 71 different gender options and that they are able to choose? Do we teach them that they have to be careful how they address people? Can we really be walking on eggshells scared of offending people by referring to them as the wrong pro noun? "They" is often used as plural and this is simply the way our brains are wired, and yes language does change and progress, but for us now to change the way we speak is going to be no easy feat.
One thing that I didn't understand was the inclusion of transgendered people in the argument for gender-neutral language. It was always my understanding that transgendered people transitioned from one gender to another they don't feel as though they belong to neither they subscribe to either or. I mean some transgendered may be non-binary but I feel as though that's a bit contradictory. Also do any of us fully subscribe to our gender roles. Are gender roles even as significant as they were back in the day? Do girls still like pink and boys, blue? All I was hearing from the non-binary people I have listened to was that they still believe these stereotypes exist and don't want to be associated with either one. Yes they do exist but let's not try and make it out like it's more than it actually is. Besides only because you don't conform to either gender, people are still going to see you as male or female. If you feel as though you're neither then that's fine but just accept that it is a narrative that not everyone can support. An argument made in support of non-binary people was that "why should it affect us how someone else identifies?" Which is kind of an outrageous statement when these same people are calling for us to change our language. But as I said, if you want to identify as a male, female, non-binary, 2 spirit person, polygender, that is fine but the reality is that the majority of us will still see you as either male or female.
Also all this talk about gender being a social construct is a bogus. Males peeing at least 2 urinals from another male is a social construct, gender is based on sex which is just scientific facts. Also let's not blow this out of proportion it is only a small minority of people who identify as something other than male or female. I haven't in my 22 years of life met someone who was gender fluid. So is there really need for a change when this is the case? Plus I feel as though there are much more pressing issues to be concerned rather than worrying about whether you identify as genderqueer or pangender. Just be you, as long as you love yourself and those around you, you can be an iguana for all I care.
But as always what do I know? This is wholly my opinion and something that I've thought about a lot recently. I would love to know what you guys think so let me know, I've enjoyed hearing both sides of the debate.
When I was looking for an image to illustrate this blog post, I typed in "body image" into Google. All the images were in relation to female body image. This is no surprise to me as I do feel there is more pressure on females to look a certain way it is scary that there was very little that alluded to males.
Before I get into it I just want to make it clear that this post is directed at things we are able to change about our body through natural means.
It is no secret that the human body comes in numerous shapes and sizes and with our innate desire to be accepted by others it is no surprise that the majority of us have "body goals". As we scroll through our Instagram feed we are constantly bombarded with images of more than perfect people who embody the perfect physique and the body that we desire, or at least the body that we're told we should desire. Because of this our subconscious tells us that the way we are isn't acceptable and there are very few body types that are actually deemed acceptable. In turn, to promote positive body image we are constantly being told to love our bodies no matter the shape or size which is a nice sentiment, however does this lead to the alienation of people who do not love their bodies.
I am a firm believer that having a positive self body image is vital to a person's general happiness. Being able to look in the mirror and like the person staring back at you is kind of a luxury but it would be naive of us to think that this is common. We all have our insecurities and imperfections which may be detrimental to the way we perceive ourselves and with the emergence of selfie culture publicly posting photos of ourselves has become the norm. However it's important to remember that with selfies come filters and other forms of image alteration which only reinforces the idea that none of us are truly happy with our image. Finding the right filter and playing with image settings has become a science because of our need to be accepted by our peers. God forbid we actually post a selfie where the caption "I woke up like this" rings true.
So you don't like your body, now what? Sure you can learn to love it, or you can just change it. Now i'm not advocating plastic surgery or botox or any kind of unnatural body modification but if you do want to do that then thats your choice. But saying to yourself "I think I'm a bit overweight" or "I'm too thin" or "I want to be more toned" even though on the surface this is seen as having a negative self image what this really is, is a starting point for you to turn something negative into a positive. Losing weight or putting on weight naturally is a great thing for any of us to achieve. It is no easy feat and some of us will be better at it than others. But having goals and taking the necessary steps to achieve them will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction within itself. We advocate a mindset that if we are not happy with something then we should change it, so why not do the same with our bodies. We shouldn't have to "learn to love" something. What does this even mean? Learning to love and just simply loving are two completely different things. Learning is forced, loving is not so it's kind of an oxymoron. Having said this though, one day you might wake up and all of a sudden have a more positive perception of yourself.
For me personally, this is something that I've never spoken to anyone about, but I have a really poor self image. I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror which makes washing my hands at public bathrooms quite a harrowing experience for me. Whenever there is a mirror present my only thought is making sure I don't make eye contact with it. And for those of you that follow me on social media you will notice a lack of selfies and just generally photos I have taken of myself. However you will find a few if you scroll further back. I envy people that are able to post selfies of themselves and their friends in any environment, any lighting, any situation. On numerous occasions I have refused to take selfies or photos for snapchat when out with friends and this is one of the reasons why. It was also a factor for why I started vlogging, as a means of not learning to "love" my face but more of a sense of desensitising myself towards it. This seems like a crazy concept but there it is, perhaps my biggest demon. It's not all doom and gloom however there are days when I am okay with how I look even though those days are particularly rare. This is mainly in regards to my face, I have had a lot of problems with my body, often seeing myself as too skinny. On numerous occasions I've been told that I am losing weight or that I am simply just "skin and bone" and even though people take little note of these comments they do hurt me slightly especially when it is something I am trying so hard to change. Putting on weight has proven to be a very difficult task for me as lately I have found myself not being able to stomach that much food. Even after a Tesco meal deal I have almost reached my limit and I haven't been to a buffet in ages.
Rah, didn't expect that to get so personal but I feel like it is an important subject and something we should all be aware of. If someone says to us that they are not happy with their body, if it is something that they are able to control i.e weight, then instead of saying "learn to love yourself" why not encourage them to change it. In a world now where we are able to change our sex and we are commending people for doing so why is it a different story for our bodies. Do we tell people to learn to love their sex. I am aware that there are numerous factors that make it harder for some of us to change our bodies than others but do you know what I don't have time for? People who complain that they are "too fat" then don't do anything about it. If you're not willing to attempt to take the necessary actions to lose weight then do you even really hate being "fat" that much? So yes all body types are acceptable, there is someone out there that will love you for you but not loving your body is also fine. If you want to change it, then do that, don't believe that you have to love the way you are because in reality, is that true for any of us?
P.S You are all already "beach-body ready".
A halls of residence at a UK university has had to add an additional safety precaution after problems with WiFi lead to complete "anarchy" among the students.
The halls of residence, which costs a mere £250 a week to live in, experienced a fault with it's WiFi which caused it to go down for a whole 12 minutes. Vigilant students were quick to realise the fault with many taking to Twitter to vent their frustrations.
@stealyochick123 tweeted "WiFi down. How am I supposed to get to the chillin' without the Netflixin'.
@proveimthefather tweeted "Rah, I didn't even know the wifi was down. I just thought he was ejaculating for a really long time"
The ordeal evoked a selflessness among some students. Gus Ripley, 22 said "My 45 Twitter followers must've been worried sick. Anything could have happened to me within that 12 minutes". He is now looking to take legal action against the university for "perverting the course of Augustus."
This has been a long line of issues plaguing the residence when a couple of weeks ago a cleaner left the thermostat on an odd number. A university spokesman argued that the students "get what they pay-".
NOTE: The rest of this quote has been cut off as our student researcher ran out of printer credits to print the whole thing.
It's safe to say that the University doesn't want a repeat of this situation so are now in the midst of devising a WiFi safety plan which has been prioritised higher than fire drills and emergency first aid. Simon Williams, a spokesman for the University, has said that the University plans to throw all their resources into the new safety plans even stating that lectures may have to be postponed to accommodate.
Fortunately no deaths have been reported but one student was injured when he fainted after realising that he was not living in a 1 bedroom apartment but had in fact had 4 other flatmates. The lack of WiFi forced him to leave his room where he made the shocking discovery.
If you haven't seen the new Netflix original series 13 Reasons Why you should probably give it a watch. I know a bit contradictory right but bare with me. Although there was a lot of things that frustrated me, there is no getting round the fact that the show deals with a lot of important social topics and paints a pretty accurate picture of life at high school. There will be spoilers so if you're in the middle of watching it then I suggest you leave but if you have seen it or don't care about spoilers then welcome.
Before I start the list I will say that I think this is a show that every student should watch. As I said it deals with a lot of serious issues which the show effectively addresses but also shows how they can be dealt with. It's kind of like an educational lesson on how we should be treating those around us and how are actions can affect others. This is what the show does well but the means in which it gets there is a bit questionable. I think a lot of the audience is getting brainwashed about how good this series actually is. We are blinded by the fact that it is addressing such a sensitive and necessary topic but missing the fact that it falls short of what is deemed "good" television in many respects.
1. Character 180s - The show does a very bad job at keeping the actions of their characters consistent. Characters seem to forget who they are on numerous occasions and people who we think are decent turn out not to be and vice versa. For example Marcus, the student body president, for the first half of the series, he seemed like a respectable young chap until Valentines day where all of a sudden he becomes an egotistical sexually driven mess. There was no indication of this before hand. Instead of fully formed characters we are left with characters who act as plot devices to add to Hannah's turmoil and eventual demise.
2. Character Development - Heavily ties in with the first point and even though we are presented with strong characters there isn't really all that much development. Only Hannah and Clay go on a real journey and the rest of the characters are presented to us as who they are and change very little throughout the series. One of my main problems was that I found it hard to keep up with who was friends with who and what each character's motives were. One minute characters will not be friends then all of a sudden they're having slumber parties and lesbian make out sessions.
3. Unlikeable Protagonist - Is it just me or is Hannah kind of a bitch. She is actually a pretty unlikable character and many characters actually shared my thoughts. Many times Hannah proved to be a crappy friend to Clay, pushing him away on numerous occasions and failing to do or say anything about Jessica's rape. This reached it's peak in the final episodes where she showed a tendency for wanting people to know what she was thinking then getting upset when her unstated needs were not met. I think the actress did a great job and if her story didn't end so tragically I would find myself having very little sympathy for her.
4. The Tapes - On the surface the premise of the entire show is very intriguing and we can all see why this is a good set up for a television series. But when we look at it with reality goggles what Hannah did is pretty effed up. To put that burden and guilt on what are essentially kids is a pretty wicked thing to do. Can you imagine being blamed for someone elses' suicide? What also made me a bit more concerned about this entire concept is the fact that from the outset it is made pretty clear that these characters are why Hannah committed suicide rather than Hannah making the choice to do so. It is stated numerous times that no one knows what is going on in someone elses' head which is kind of contradictory with the fact that these characters are blamed for the death and they all come to accept this by then end.
5. Clay - This one is short. Why was Clay on the tapes?
6. Tony - Clay said it best. Comparing him to Yoda. I mean I did like Tony, but his random appearances spouting all these half sentences got a bit jarring after a while.
7. Sheri - Sorry but I refuse to accept Sheri's reasoning for not wanting to call 9-1-1 about the stop sign.
8. Past and Present - This is me being a bit picky. I will say though the way the show transitioned from past and present was good. And the fact that they had 2 different colour palettes was great. What I didn't like or understand was when present Clay would supposedly see Hannah as he was listening to the tapes. How on earth would he know Hannah's every move, her exact position just by listening to the tapes? Like I said picky, but yeah.
9. Voice overs? - My first thought when I watched the series was that it was very contrived. The over-dramatic voice overs the way it was playing into the story I just felt it was a little too theatrical and unrealistic. I quickly got over it when I accepted the how for what it was but those concerns did hinder me initially.
10. Pacing - The series is very slow. Only in the sense that we are waiting for Clay's tape at the very beginning and it doesn't come until episode 11. Because of this a lot of the episode seems as though they have been shoe horned in and just conceived as something else that would add to the reason why Hannah killed herself. I didn't buy the Zach episode at all. I was very confused as to why she would spill her heart out to someone she rejected initially.
11. Mr Porter - I thought I liked him. But it turns out he was kind of crap at his job and by the end the audience most likely hated him. He actually didn't do much throughout the series apart from summoning students to his office but achieving very little. He seems as though he was built up to be the moral compass of the show and very knowledgeable but this all came crashing down in episode 13 and I felt very let down by him to say the least.
12. Narrator Bias - This isn't really a negative but something I feel they could've pushed a bit more. Throughout the series a lot of characters call out the accuracy of Hannah's tapes and a lot claim she lies about a lot of things when in fact it turns out she told the truth about everything... well most things. This is something they could've pushed a bit more. One thing I liked was that Hannah said Zach threw out her letter when in fact he kept it. Little things like that would've gave the series a lot more authenticity because in reality the series is told from her perspective and it would've been interesting if she got a few facts wrong. I don't know...
13. JEFF REALLY DID DESERVE BETTER
To not be such a downer there were a lot of things I did like about the series. To name a few:
The suicide scene was pretty fantastic.
Good choice of new unknown actors
Intriguing premise
Possibility as an educational tool
I will end by addressing a theory that has been going round the internet.
Alex suicide? - A lot of people have been questioning whether Alex actually attempted to kill himself. I feel it is totally plausible that it was an attempted suicide, all the signs are there, but a theory states that he was in fact shot by Tyler as we saw him take down his photo at then closing of episode 13. I think it is clear that Tyler is planning some sort of mass shooting, which could be the basis for a second season, but I am surprised people think he could've shot Alex. It is clear that from the scene with the photos Tyler remembered that time Alex stood up for him which caused him to take his photo down which strongly suggests that Tyler will spare Alex. I am totally convinced that this is what that scene means. However if Alex didn't attempt suicide and was actually shot by an assailant, I don't think it was Tyler or Justin, who we also saw with a gun. But in fact Jessica's dad. Do you remember in an earlier episode, Jessica's dad stated that he would kill anyone who hurt his daughter. And it was shown that he was packing some mad heat. In episode 13 we saw Jessica finally tell her father that she was raped, albeit the start of the conversation, so we can assume that he now knows. He knows that Jessica used to be with Alex so what if he assumed that Alex was the one who raped her then wanted some mad revenge? That is just my theory anyway. Let me know what you think.
Anyway that's me done. Let me just say all in all I did enjoy the series but there was just a few things I wasn't particularly happy with. All in all a good watch and I do recommend it.
It's kind of liberating to return to the blog in word form but we're not here to talk about my medium dilemmas. The popular award winning detective series Broadchurch is back and it looks like we're in for quite the final season.
Alec Hardy and Ellie Miller are taking part in one final romp but there is no dead boy on a beach this time. Instead they're dealing with a very different but just as devastating crime, rape. One thing that sets Broadchurch apart from most detective series is that it gives you a real insight into the repercussions of the crime on it's victims and from the first 15 minutes you get a clear sense of that. Our victim, Trish, is taken through a series of interviews and bleak examinations to gather as much evidence as possible to catch the culprit. The way it is portrayed is done through class and sensitivity by both the direction and Julie Hesmondhalgh herself. It is clear to say the production team and actress both did their research and what we are left with is a lesson on what sexual assault victims experience after they report the crime.
It is no secret that sexual assault needs to be handled with much care and respect when portraying it on screen as it is very likely that viewers watching may have gone through this experience themselves. Dealing with such a traumatic experience would take it's toll on any human being so Broadchurch had the responsibility to treat the subject matter with dignity and class. When you make the decision to explore something as dreadful as rape you automatically put a lot of pressure on yourself to ensure that the topic doesn't simply become a plot device but a way of raising awareness and educating the audience on what they are possibly unlikely to know. Judging by the first episode Broadchurch strikes the perfect balance between engaging drama and plausible story as Trish's reactions to her sexual assault are both believable and superbly acted.
So we have our set up and Broadchurch subsequently hits you with a flurry of questions. Why did Trish wait so long to report the attack? Why were there so many men at the party? Why are we STILL following the Latimer's story? Okay so that last question was a bit of a reach but when they appeared, even though I knew they would be appearing in this series, I felt as though they would take away from the story that was being told. However thankfully it's good to know that they will have some involvement going forward as Beth Latimer's work at the Crisis Centre will see her cross paths with Trish. These questions are what should be expected of a crime drama however they are all engaging and ones we desperately want answers to and will undoubtably make us keep watching.
We are taken to the possible scene of the crime where we find the corner of a condom wrapper and a blood stained rock which was likely used to hit Trish over the nut. This is all eerily overshadowed by the noise of the water that Trish predominantly remembered from the night of the attack. This eeriness along with Olafur Arnalds score captures the atmosphere perfectly and makes Broadchurch such a gripping piece of television. The music isn't there for show but acts as more of a tour guide and carries you cautiously through the story but not letting you miss anything along the way.
We also get to meet Cath, Trish's friend who hosted the party where the sexual assault took place, aswell as her shady husband Jim who is definitely everyone's first suspect. Which also means it's likely to not be him. His shady aura, the fact that he had a pack of condoms in his car and his distant reaction to the shocking news of the rape place him firmly in the spotlight. That's the thing with crime dramas in general though. You never really want it to be who you think it is because then the reveal is that less dramatic. But there are seven more weeks of twist and turns which means Jim will begin to fade in and out of the firing line as new evidence and new suspects come into play.
This was truly an enticing set up to what should be a rollercoaster of a final series. I don't know why series 2 gets so much hate, I mean of course it was not as good as series 1 but I think it took real courage for the show to take the story in that direction. It may not have worked out as well as they planned but it looks like they've learned their lesson and have revisited the formula which made series 1 so critically acclaimed. I have no idea whodunnit as I firmly believe we have not met them yet but I am sure that I will have a great deal of fun piecing it all together.
Can I just add that fans of Broadchurch should definitely give the American AMC/Netflix series The Killing a watch which Broadchurch has in fact been compared to.
