Cito Says...

Our thoughts are our own. And we have totally control over them... right?

Ever thought of something completely crazy, so crazy you began to question your own state of mind? Now I'm not saying we have no control over our thoughts because obviously we do. But sometimes that one morbid, weird, deluded thought seeps into our mind and sits there. Then we ask ourselves why the hell am I thinking that?

Now thoughts are an amazing concept. They allow us to escape, or take us back to a distant memory. Although it's never gonna be quite as real as the event itself the memory still lives on and we can access it as often as we want as long as it stays in our long term memory. What do you like to think about? Because you know thoughts can solve a lot of problems, but also cause a lot of problems. Over-thinking in particular. I see myself as an over thinker. If I feel like I could've handled a situation better it will play over in my mind again and again. It's hard to shake and I don't know how I ever come to the realisation that I need to just move on. But it comes eventually.

But most of my thoughts are fantasy. Probably like most of us. Whether they're about wealth, fame or sex. Because it's always going to be a fantasy, you can never perfectly recreate a thought. So don't waste your life trying to essentially chase something that doesn't exist. It's perfectly okay to have these thoughts but remember that that's all they are, thoughts. In fact something occurred to me the other day. Most of the stuff we see in the world came from a thought. Buildings, mobile phones, furniture. Someone had that image in their head and decided that that was how it was going to look which just goes to show how amazing the human mind is.

However not all thoughts are good thoughts. Sometimes you may find yourself in a position where you're having the most random and horrific thoughts. What's the worst thing you've ever thought of....? But you're not the kind of person that will act on these thoughts right? See we all have the potential to break bad and become someone we don't want to be. But I guess we have the self restraint and know what the consequences will be if we act upon these photos. Having said this I do think these thoughts are necessary for us personally and in terms of human development. I mean ultimately our minds are a world we have created, where we decide the rules. This is where our anger, our envy, our violence is kept. Sometimes we do lose ourselves and give into our thoughts but hey, we're only human.

One day consciously think about your thought process. How you go from one thought to another, what triggers these thoughts and how long you actually spend thinking about these thoughts. You'll be surprised.

Is the word thought starting to sound weird to you?

… Because life is hard right?
Here is a list of 77 struggles we face in life. Some we can deal with some, we just can't. So here we go...

1.     Internet Explorer
2.       Getting up
3.       Going to sleep
4.       Actually sleeping
5.       Boys
6.       Girls
7.       Boys and Girls
8.       Relationships
9.       Being single
10.   Work, whether its school work, uni work or work work.
11.   Predictive text that still changes the damn word after you’ve changed it.
12.   Changing empty toilet roll… I just can’t be bothered.
13.   Children, whether they’re yours or not.
14.   Big headed children.
15.   Staring babies… suck your mum.
16.   Listening to that one song on repeat.
17.   Being unlucky in love
18.   Internet Explorer
19.   Making meals that take longer to cook than eat.
20.   Dirty dishes.
21.   Crap advice (i.e. “just breathe” “you’ll be fine” “just give it time”).
22.   Clichés
23.   Lies
24.   The truth
25.   Extrovertly extroverts
26.   Cheese – The food AND the “talk”
27.   Sainsbury’s
28.   Miley Cyrus
29.   Ice JJ Fish
30.   The Kardashians
31.   Internet Explorer
32.   Battery Low…
33.   Rich people
34.   Broke people
35.   Broken zips
36.   Hot people who know they’re hot.
37.   Ugly people who think they’re hot
38.   People who don’t know the difference between fact and opinion
39.   Undercover racists/homophobes/sexists etc.
40.   Anything chocolate that’s not chocolate
41.   Not being able to rip off the entire wrapper of a drumstick lollipop
42.   Sun
43.   Snow
44.   And everything in between
45.   Being dark
46.   Being pale
47.   Internet Explorer
48.   Drunks
49.   Annoying Drunks
50.   Aggressive Drunks
51.   Drunk Drunks
52.   Sweat
53.   Hot breath
54.   Hair… just hair.
55.   Independence
56.   Dependence
57.   Halloween… FRIKKIN HALLOWEEN
58.   Valentine’s Day (Pretend to love me more than you actually do)
59.   Conversation – A struggle for most people it would seem
60.   The lottery
61.   Attainment of that gym body
62.   TOWIE
63.   Internet Explorer
64.   Skyrim
65.   Feet
66.   Arsenal FC – Always struggling for that 4^th place
67.   Arsenal Fans – Struggle to realise their team’s struggle
68.   The struggle itself is a struggle
69.   Love (Whatever that is)
70.   Religion
71.   The Illuminati
72.   The Media
73.   The Government
74.   Society
75.   Democracy
76.   Death…
77.   LIFE

So everything in life is a struggle really… But remember they don’t have to be. All these things can make you thrive except for Internet Explorer because it’s just awful.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Your mirror will tell you, that you are. You're fair, you're great, you're amazing, you're incredible.

Do you ever look in the mirror and not like the person staring back at you. I'd be surprised if you hadn't felt that way. I doubt that there's anyone in this world that always likes what they see in the mirror. But hey, mirrors are truthful and real. They might not show you what you want to see but definitely show you what you need to see. They're a big part of our day to day life and something that people may use more than others but still arguably a necessity. So just what is so scary or compelling about a mirror?

Well I don't know about you but I hate mirrors. Every time I use the bathroom I avoid looking in the mirror especially when it's a public mirror. I don't know why this is but maybe it comes down to, and maybe some of you can relate, that I have this perceived idea of how I think I look and looking in the mirror will only wreck this. Maybe this could be the reason for why most of us hate looking in the mirror. It's not so much that we don't like what we see but more to do with the fact that it doesn't correspond with what we believed we looked like.

I mean our appearance is something that a lot of people struggle to come to terms with and accept. How we look is never going to change and looking in the mirror only confirms this. We all have this idea of what we think "perfection" is. What we want to look like. Maybe a different eye colour, or different skin complexion or different sized ears. No matter what it is, it's us. You'll see a lot of good looking people in life who you may envy because of their looks. But why are you really envying them? Why is our appearance so important to us. Now I'm not naive to the fact that a lot of stereotypes and judgements are placed on people's appearances today but when it comes down to it you are much bigger than any of that.

I guess a lot of this is reiterating what I said in my previous post. Lately I'm just in a mood where I want people to feel good about themselves because of some of the negativity we experience these days. Moral of the story is... dedicate your life to change things that are in your power to change.

Sorry for the One Direction reference. Unless you like them, then more power to you. So in case you missed it, I am back with even more wisdom for you. Today is a question of self discovery and us as individuals. What makes us us? If you think about it life is just a journey we take in an attempt to find out who we are. We might take some wrong turns along the way but the journey is a long one and some may argue a never ending one. But remember it’s your journey; you make the decisions and choose the paths.

What does this mean exactly you may ask? Every human in life has this thing called Free Will. This is essentially the idea that humans are biologically or spiritually engineered to do whatever the hell they want. But with the prevalence of societal codes and rules this free will is becoming somewhat limited and restrained. But still we have control over most of our life and no-one can take this away from us. Without it everyone in the world would just be a blank slab and how boring would that be?

Some people argue that it is experience that shapes us others say that personality is decided within days of being born. I think both are completely plausible but in my opinion I lean more towards experiences. Every single experience we have had in life governs who we are today. That day you decided to have a burger over chicken, when you decided to stay in rather than go out, when you decided to cross the road early rather than wait for the lights to change. No matter how small it still has an effect on us. If you decided to take a different path you could be different than how you are now how scary is that?

You’ve heard that theory that if you went back in time and you stepped on a butterfly it could change the world drastically. Well it works the same way with our lives. You could’ve had an effect on so many people’s lives and you don’t even know. Something that you chose to do could have saved someone’s life. It’s a knock on effect, like a line of dominoes, each one falling over. Unfortunately most of the time we don’t get to see it.

In recent years I have become very tactile in the way I approach certain situations. Instead of acting on instinct I choose to sit back and consider the repercussions of my actions, which can lead to frustration at times and taking ages to decide on a course of action. Obviously I get it wrong sometimes, I mean if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be human. I’m not saying that this is the way to go about doing things but it sure does carry benefits. Acting on instinct is also advantageous and I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase to go with our “gut”. Some people’s instincts are spot on and acting in this way isn’t a problem.

It is also a belief that our lives have been mapped out for us already and no matter what path we choose that is always the path we were meant to take. It’s quite hard to get your head around. Think of it like this, whenever you change your mind about something that was always meant to happen so in a way you never changed your mind at all. If this is true that kind of opposes the whole idea of free will as it has all been decided for us. The schools we go to, the friendships we make, the jobs we get and eventually how we die. It’s scary knowing that our deaths are already set in stone and there’s nothing we can do to change that.

So back to you. Life is complicated. You will have your ups and your downs. Things will go your way and other times they won’t. You’re you because you’re unique and there’s no one else like you on this planet. Remember that. Your purpose on this planet transcends physical appearance and wealth and all these things we desire in life. Focus on what makes you happy, what makes you smile what makes you want to get up in the morning and face the world. This is what’s going to guide you through life. Your thoughts your feelings, your emotions, no one else is having this kind of experience but you. And that’s beautiful.

Remember me?

Hi, yeah I've been gone a while don't know if you care, if you do great, if not then I'm going to make you care.

Just thought I'd update you guys with whats been happening in the past few months of my life.

I swear I haven’t forgotten about the blog. It’s been in the back of my mind for a long time now and I have been meaning to post something but just never got round to doing it. Besides I think a hiatus is good, leaves the people wanting more. Right? Right? Or maybe not.

So, yeah, life. It’s been pretty crazy for the past few months. I finished my second year of university which is just crazy. Gone way too quick. Had a project to hand in and a presentation to give so it was pretty stressful, but I think I enjoyed it. I wrote a script about a leaf. Yeah you heard me, a damn leaf! Well it turned out to be quite heart breaking and powerful actually so I was happy! But the presentation, oh boy! As I’ve said before, I can’t talk. Well I can, just not very well so you can probably guess how daunting the presentation was for me. And if life treats me well I will be have to be giving these presentations all the time. Does that make sense? Well yeah I did it. Level 2 complete… proceed to level 3.

On to something more exciting now. I crossed the “Pond” and went back “home" this summer. In other words I went back to work at camp. AND IT WAS JUST AMAZING. Much better than my first year. Don’t want to repeat my previous blog post about camp but yeah, amazing people, amazing kids, amazing place. No more to say really… except I WANT TO GO BACK. I just don’t know if it’s going to be possible. I’m doing that thing, what’s it called? Oh yeah, growing up and I think it’s time for me to get a real job. So don’t know if it’s going to be possible for me to return next year. But even if I don’t, I have a ton of memories that I will cherish forever. From being the only Brit at a 4^th July pool party to making gifts for some great campers. Getting emotional just thinking about it… Let’s move on.

Oh, I have nothing left to say. Actually that’s a lie. I’m back and will be posting regularly again so watch this space.

The age old question "Can a..." actually just read the title of the post. It's a topic of pointless debate with a lot of people saying yes but also a lot of people saying no. You want to know what I think? Well I'll get to that.

First I think it's important to define the word "friend". What promotes someone from an acquaintance to a friend? Well that's for everyone individually to decide. We all have different ideas for who we consider as our friend. I know someone is a friend when I talk to them because I want to not because I have to or want something from them. And we talk on a regular basis. Some of you may agree others will disagree. But I think nowadays it's important to know who our friends are. Seriously some people out there will drop you without a second thought and the only person they care about is themselves. These people can usually be identified by their tendency to act all pally with you but end the conversation asking for a kidney.

There are a lot of reasons why people will say no, a boy can't be best friends with a girl and this is normally due to the fact that one of them will start to "catch" feelings. Some argue that the closer you get to someone the more feelings that start to develop. This is why a lot of people that are in relationships say that they used to be best friends with their partner. The people who argue this also claim that people who say that they are best friends with someone of the opposite sex are just in denial. They're not best friends at all, one of them has feelings for the other and wants to "plough" them. It's hard to distinguish whether you like someone as a friend or you like them as more than that because to be honest the feelings are all kind of similar. I guess it all comes down to whether you're sexually attracted to them. If you're best friends with a spice, then God help you.

On the other hand people will say that yes they can be best friends, why not? I mean why should their gender matter. If you get along, have the same sense of humour and like spending time with them then that's it. You can feel that way about someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. With people's desperate needs for sexual interactions these days it's hard to believe that some boy-girl friendships are completely platonic. One strong point I have to perpetuate this argument is how homosexuals would fit into this. I mean to like someone as more than a friend there has to be a physical attraction right? A homosexual boy won't have this attraction to a girl so they can be best friends right? But people may say that it only applies to heterosexuals.

What I think is that yes it is very easy to develop "feelings" for one of your friends especially if they're hot. People today sometimes just don't know whether they like someone. If this girl/boy is all you think about and you talk to them daily and you get anxious when they don't reply to your message and just thinking of them makes you smile... oh, and you have "sexy" thoughts about them. Then damn, you sprung! I mean I have a lot of girl friends, I think I just get along with them better than guys and I have been confused in the past about my feelings towards them but also their feelings towards me. It doesn't help that my general way of talking is a flirty one. But the main thing for me to like someone is knowing that they like me, so this way my hearts intact and things are not awkward. You will never find me wooing a girl. For me it has to be something that develops naturally not me chasing the girl. Have I even answered the question yet? I think I have, I think it's completely possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex but there is a big risk of feelings developing so just be careful because you don't want to ruin your friendship by trying to find out whether the other person also has these feelings. Just keep it 100. But also remember there will always be a certain level of friendship between you and someone before you get into a relationship.

One other thing if you are friends. DO NOT throw the word "love" around unless you are both using it in the same way. It can lead to a lot of confusion. You're saying you love them how you love a sandwich but they're saying love how they want to marry you and have your babies.

This all boils down to one important point. If you do like someone don't friendzone yourself. Because once you're in the friendzone you ain't getting out. Well it's possible but incredibly hard. Sometimes you won't know you have these feelings until after your friendzoned and to all you people I'll pray for you.

Social networking has become a revelation in recent years with the emergence of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. If someone told you they didn't have a Facebook account you'd think they were crazy. Or that they're smart, very very smart actually. Social networking has arguably made us less sociable and for some just hardcore attention seekers.

Let's start with Facebook shall we? Yes we shall. Do you remember the days when people used to upload a photo and would say "Don't like the link like the photo". Why are these people assuming that someone is going to like their photo. If anything this is going to make people not want to like your photo.

Also Birthdays... wow. Birthday's on Facebook are a momentous occasion when we hear from people we never actually speak to or haven't spoken to you in ages. And it's actually quite a nice feeling when people you don't normally speak to wish you a happy birthday BUT when people put "HB" that is just rude in my opinion. You've done a lot by clicking on this person's profile to write on their wall for their birthday so why are you just posting HB? Would it hard just to go the whole way and say Happy Birthday. Lazy buggers.

Something that also makes me laugh is when people post on people's timelines and are like "Inbox me when you see this". Why don't you just inbox them? Never understood that.

I think people's desperation for likes is what fuels most of the atrocities that plague social networks. But it's human nature right? The need to be liked but c'mon it's getting ridiculous now. "Like if you're awake", "Like if you're doing this" "Like if you're doing that". After people like your status what exactly are you doing about it?

Instagram is also a vessel for likes. People will literally tag their photos with a bunch of tags so more people will like it then delete the tags so it looks like they've got al those likes themselves. Seriously is this us? Is this the human race in the 21st century? Begging for likes? Likes are not going to get you a job or get you out of your overdraft.

The only issue I have to raise with Twitter is when people will follow thousands of people just to get follow backs. Like why?

Now I don't want it to sound like I'm condemning people for doing these things, it's your account you can do whatever you like with it but I just hope people are social networking for the right reasons. Social networking shouldn't be there to feed your hunger for likes or gain popularity. The clues in the name, just to be sociable in the cyber world. If your tweets or Instagram photos happen to gain popularity then that's fine.

But It's not all bad news when it comes to social networking. It has evolved into a marketing platform and a basis for advertising. It has also played an imperative role in raising awareness and money for charities and spreading good news.

Too bad it will never be rid of crazes such as Neknomination, spam accounts and mothers posting endless photos of their snotty nosed children.

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